Free YOURSELF

Good Morning Greatness,

So yesterday I was in the car going to pick up my daughter after I got off of work (my usual routine). I am listening to my music, loud because I like a good beat to get me through rush hour traffic when the words to a song, I had been listening to for years, hit me like a ton of bricks. I was listening to Fantasia’s first CD. When I say I love Fantasia that is an understatement. Her voice is so powerful and you can feel what she is singing not just hear it. It didn’t hurt that her production team killed it with the beats throughout the CD, and usually that’s what gets me, but not this time. This time I heard the words over the beats.

“I’m tryin to love ya but ya don’t act right”, “I ain’t gonna beg you no more, sick and tired of waiting don’t know what I’m waiting for, cuz you know you don’t treat me like you should”, but the one that suck out the most, “If you don’t want me than don’t talk to me. Go ahead and free yourself”.

She told the man that has been hurting her, using her, taking her for granted and SHOWING her that he could care less if their relationship worked she wasn’t even worth keeping it real with her to free himself. What? His actions showed you you didn’t matter to him and you are giving him the opportunity to free himself. Some thing is very wrong with this picture. I had to play the song over again. Mind you I have been listening to this CD for years. That song is one of my favorites. But for the first time yesterday I heard it differently and some questions came to my head.

1. When did we begin to think it is okay to give up our power?
2. Why is she waiting on him to free himself when clearly she’s the one hurting and living in bondage?
3. What is it going to take for her to take her power back?

I sat in the car answering myself. I felt crazy but the reality of it is I was right there in those same feeling at some points in my life. I gave up my power to multiple men in hopes that they would see me and all I do and find me worthy of loving CORRECTLY. I fell victim to the “okie doke”, the “I love you, I only want you” all the while showing me that those were the biggest lies ever spoken by a man. I analyzed giving up my power over and over again to this person or that, relationship after relationship (boyfriend or just friend). After listening to the CD the whole way through for the millionth time I got out of the car heavy. It hurt to know that so many people out here have done exactly what I did and what she did in her songs. They gave up their power and left their destiny in someone else’s hands. In a way we committed suicide the real us died and the fake us replaced it.

I know now that this is not what God has for me and it is not what He has for you either. The devil wants you to release your power and allow his minions to stunt your growth. When we place our power in another human being and your worth takes a back seat and in our eyes being with them is worth the heartache the devil gets the glory not God. It seems easier to rock with the devil because what he puts us through seems less hurtful than what God wants us to do, at least in our minds. But like I was told yesterday “I dare you to try God and trust Him”.  He can set you free in a way that no one will ever be able to place you back in bondage. He showed you your worth well before you made it to this earth, it was instilled in you and some where along the way dealing with people who had no idea how to handle you, you lost sight of your worth. He’s just waiting on you to see your worth again. Trust me beloved it is still there and to find it you have to do one thing.

FREE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

Don’t wait for someone who has been hurting you to get tired of hurting you. YOU show people how to treat you with what you tolerate. Choose you! TAKE BACK YOUR POWER. Stop TOLERATING nonesense and take back your life. You were not created to be a door mat, a punching bag, a verbal pin cushion or anything else that will cause you to be misused. You are created for greatness and it is never to late to make up your mind, tell yourself “YES, I am WORTH IT”, because you are. I don’t care what you were told, what you have done or where you have been, there is no mess to big for our God.

You are perfectly imperfect and that is quite alright because God does his best work with mess. He has the ability to erase your past but you have to trust Him and the process because it will not happen over night. Take the steps and stop waiting on those hurting you to see your worth. You recognized your worth and PLEASE FREE YOURSELF!!!!!!

I love you Greatness,

Mya!

Lord You Promised

Good Morning,

So I have been in my feelings lately. I have so many ideas and so much to offer BUT it all requires money. To start my business requires money. To get my book published cost money. To get my logo created cost money. To do anything cost money. Money I don’t have. It’s making me sad. I want to give up but the little person inside of me and the little person looking up to me won’t let me. While I don’t expect it to fall out of the sky I have not the slightest clue how I will get there.

Lord you promised me that this will work. So I am expecting it to work. I will not allow what I see to stop what You said. I will encourage myself even in the darkest hour. Although I do not feel like praying I will pray. I will not ask you repeatedly for what you have already promised me. I will ask that you give me the means to see it through to the end. I know You have not brought me this far to leave me here. I will trust You.

I will stand on Your promise.

Stepping Out on Faith

Good Morning Greatness,

I’m just wondering how many of you have ever been in a situation that you feel like it’s a good move but you can’t see the end so you are afraid of moving forward. For some reason that’s how I woke up this morning. I woke up thinking “I should just quit while I’m ahead and keep looking for a better paying job”. What am I quitting you ask?…. My mind told me to give up on my dream. To quit is to give up right?

See Last week I started this blog page and, to be honest, this thing is confusing the hell out of me. I want to post it to my Facebook fan page but it only allows me to post on my personal page. I have not the slightest clue how to fix it, which now makes me extremely frustrated to the point that I want to get rid of the blog all together. All I keep hearing myself say is “it’s a waste of time”. My negative self talk can get real some times.

But then I realized something, I had started reading this book and the first chapter is about what’s holding me back. FEAR. Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of ridicule, just plain fear. I started the exercise in the book and I realized those are all things that I made up in my head to stop me from moving forward. Is it really as bad as it seems? No of course it isn’t. So why is fear so paralyzing?

When you find out let me know. As for now I will be stepping out on faith and continuing my push to freedom. What freedom am I striving for? Freedom from fear doubt and shame. I am not that four year old girl anymore and she will no longer rule my life. So I am stepping out on faith with this movement because I am and have always been Worth It.

Will you step out on faith for your dreams. Will you silence the naysayers that you have created in your head. Or even the ones that may exist in real life? I pray you do.

Hello world!

   I’m Tamya, pronounced Tuh-my-uh and I started this blog as a release. It was actually a suggestion from a friend. My life changed on Saturday April 11th 2015. The night before was heavy and full of anger and frustration for no reason (at least in my opinion). I had argued with my fiance and to top it off I broke my computer because I was tired of not being heard. I had went to get on the computer to look for apartments because I was angry that once again the roof in the bathroom was leaking. But someone had downloaded something that gave the laptop a virus and the virus was now preventing me from doing anything on the computer let alone the internet. What made me angry enough to throw the laptop that I worked so hard for and purchased with my own money you ask? Sheer frustration, anger and hurt. I was tired of talking to what felt like walls. I had asked that nothing be downloaded over and over again because I had just fixed the last virus. Long story short I was beyond pissed AND I was not thinking I was reacting when I threw the laptop off of the balcony. I figured “if I can’t use it no one will”. I missed the Heal A Woman To Heal A Nation (HWHN) PJ Party because of this anger. Mind you I had just had the most fulfilling day at the 1st day of the 12th Annual HWHN Conference. So to come home to that level of stress floored me.

   I woke up the next day still in a funk. I woke up before everyone else and got in the shower. I seemed to have cried more than I showered (I know I’m not the only one who’s been there). Well I got out of the shower still feeling the heaviness of the night before but I pressed forward to start my day and get to day 2 of the conference. Everyone noticed that I was not the same as yesterday which means my light had been dimmed because of last night’s situation. The morning exercise broke me completely. I had cried all morning. But the leader of the workshop came over to make sure I participated fully in this exercise because it would change my life. I participated fully and my day began to turn around. I had cried out to God “Lord I’m Tired of Being Broken”. Throughout that day I was given reason upon reason that I am worth fighting for. My dreams are worth fighting for. My soul is worth fighting for. My life is fighting for. I am worth having happiness. I am worth having joy. I am worth any and everything my heart desires because I am a child of the Most High King. Mothyna said “some people say the sky is the limit, I say, NO IT’S NOT”. That day I believed that statement in my spirit. I believed it with my whole heart. I had finally said YES to committing to me. YES to my destiny. And the blessing began to reign in before we left the hotel. How can my day go from being so cloudy (even when the sun was out) to completely shining (in the night time)? God. Only Him placed it on those women heart to bless me in the way they did. I was humbled that day and realized that God saw I am worth it so I must be.

   Then YES, I am Worth It was birth out of my spirit. I won’t claim to know all there is to know about spirituality and Christ. But I can tell how what He has done for me. Thus, I created this blog as a journey. And in my journey to release I pray I help someone along the way. Because if I am worth it, then SO ARE YOU.